The White Panther

This morning I turned on my PC to do something tarotic and wound up spending over two hours editing and preparing a short story to send off for a competition. Why? A seemingly serendipitous email - reminding me the closing date for a competition I wasn’t planning to enter is only two weeks away - landed in my inbox on my day off. It seemed like an opportunity so I took it.

The story, entitled ‘The White Panther’, is one I wrote a few years ago. It was one of those stories that popped into my head one lunchtime and was almost finished by dinnertime (back in the days when I could spend whole afternoons writing – and alas, on the whole, didn’t). I’m really very proud of it and I like it a lot but I’ve never done anything with it. So now I’m sending it off into the great wide open to see if it can hold its own.

After I’d sealed the envelope I drew three cards from my newly trimmed Mythic (thanks TarotDame) to see how my story might fare.

I can interpret The Star in a few ways, all of which are relevant. That’s me, having high hopes for my story and choosing to ignore its flaws. But also (as I asked how the story would fare and this is the commentary card) I think this card says it’s got a chance. It could shine. And then again, why am I in a situation where I have to place so much faith in one story? What happened to all my other stories?

The 8 of Swords is the message. This is the ‘between a rock and a hard place’ card. I’m trying to remember the story behind this particular card (the book is all the way upstairs and I can’t be bothered to go and get it). Both the Furies and Apollo are angry at Orestes. He can’t please either one of them and so he’s flailing about in the middle not knowing what to do or where to turn. He’s afraid of the consequences of whatever he does so he does nothing. I’m not sure I get how this relates to my story but it does remind me of a feature in Psychologies magazine this month about self-sabotage (actually, it might have been last month – I’m so behind on my reading). One of the reasons put forward for why we self-sabotage was fear of success (yes, I can relate to that – success leads to expectation and the potential for bigger failures). The article says (I looked it up – it was only in the next room): “By thwarting your chances for success you always have the potential to be great.” How true. I know I can write well and I enjoy writing. But I write less and less. It’s easier to think, “I could be a best-selling novelist if I wanted to be but I’m not sure I want to be.”

The 8 of Wands is the vision. It’s a picture of easy progress, where all obstacles have been removed and you’re flying. It seems to be a very positive card here, but I can’t help thinking I’m biased (like the girl in the Star, only seeing what she wants to see). Maybe if I could detangle myself from my fears, I could achieve this plain sailing. This reading started off about one story and has grown to talk about the whole complicated issue of me not writing. This is what I like about the Mythic – it’s so easy to relate to.

Very rambly post this. Can’t remember what my point was.

By the way, if you write stories or any kind of fiction, check out Critique Circle.

On ebay now…

 

This week (12th-18th November) is Orangutan Awareness Week. I am a staunch supporter of Orangutan conservation and so I am selling my Vargo’s Gothic Tarot on ebay in aid of the Borneo Orangutan Survival Foundation. I am also throwing in a beautiful custom-made hand-sewn Sulis bag for good measure.

Please click here for the ebay listing. I have started the bidding at £0.99 which I hope I won’t live to regret. A few years ago I sold the Sakki-Sakki Tarot for the same cause and had wonderful bidders – with that and a few other items I managed to raise over £70 for the Orangutan Foundation UK. 

What I did this weekend

This little Ultra Pro card portfolio is perfect for my trimmed Crystal Tarot (though too small for most other decks):

The Crystal was only the 2nd deck I bought for myself and it is beautiful (especially trimmed). But I never read with it – partly because I’ve never quite got to grips with its non-scenic pips, but mainly because it links Cups with Air and Swords with Water and that just makes my head hurt.

I’m going to order another album for my trimmed Thoth – another deck I don’t use (yet).

Reasons why I love the Haindl, Part I

This is Brigid of Ireland aka Daughter of Cups in the North from the Haindl Tarot:

To me, this card speaks of belonging. Brigid is shown as inseparable from her homeland; it is part of who she is. She lives in the place she was born, in the place her mother and father were born, and where her children were born. She is the daughter, but not the end; instead she is a link in the chain that binds generations together.

To me, this card speaks of roots, of tradition, but not the stuffy, rigid tradition of stubborn old men. The traditions of Brigid’s people are living and breathing, weaving in and out of daily life, moving with the rhythms and patterns of the years; traditions honoured together.

To me, this card is about where you come from – your blood and your creed. It’s about who you are deep down, the part of you that is more than you; the part of you that is also your mother and your father, your grandmothers and grandfathers. It’s about your home, your family, your past; but also today and tomorrow. It’s the song your mother sang to you that you will sing to your children and the way your hands slowly become more and more like hers.

Flying

This week (and the end of last) has been so busy I forgot I had a blog. Life is very 8 of Wands-ish at the moment. In the week ahead reading I did last Sunday I drew the Ace of Cups, the Universe (World) and the 9 of Cups (which, in the Haindl Tarot, has the keyword ‘Fortune’). There has been a sudden lifting of restrictions and we are flying – higher and faster than we ever dreamed possible. It’s wonderful and exhausting at the same time – the potential is huge but so is the effort required to milk it and who knows how long the opportunity will last?

Tarot – my personal stuff – has been put to the side. I haven’t used the Haindl since last weekend, but I’ll admit I’ve sniffed it. Okay, that’s a little weird I know, but my Haindl has a very distinctive smell that I find very comforting. I wonder if other people’s Haindls smell the same?

Anyway, now it’s the weekend and there’s still a lot of work to do, but I’m determined not to work all weekend. I’m going to make some time to do other things – like read with the Haindl instead of just sniff it; and bake. (All week I’ve had a hankering to make fairy cakes, which is not something I’d often do.)