August 13, 2008 § 3 Comments
The reason I have been quiet here recently is, simply, that I have had nothing to say. It’s a very strange sensation. In early April I found out I was pregnant with our first child and since then, my interest in tarot has flagged. For the first trimester I went off it completely – didn’t want to think about it, talk about it, or write about it. It was like tarot was a food that I just suddenly didn’t like the taste of anymore.
Fortunately, that feeling did pass. I’m convinced it was a pregnancy thing. As I entered the 13th and 14th weeks, I gradually felt my interest in tarot return. But it hasn’t been the same. Perhaps that’s to be expected. Having a baby is a major life change and there are lots of things to look forward to and also to be anxious about. Between hospital appointments, excited grandparents and panic attacks, there hasn’t been much room left for tarot.
I am absolutely thrilled to have a baby on the way, and to be honest, I haven’t really missed tarot that much. But when I do think about it, I can’t help feeling a little sad. I had a plan, a passion, a purpose. This blog, the book I’d started working on, and various other pies-in-the-sky, were my bread and butter. (Pies = bread and butter? But of course.) All those things have since faded into the very distant background.
I’m objective enough to recognize that this is probably all just a phase, and probably a necessary one at that. I can’t expect to have my head buried in tarot for nine months and then all of a sudden adjust to the arrival of a new baby. I need time to prepare myself – mentally, physically, and emotionally. So I guess tarot will return to me…or rather, I to it, when the time is right.
In the meantime, I haven’t completely lost touch. Last month I treated myself to another copy of the large German edition of the Haindl, which is now borderless and beautiful. And then I used that as an excuse to order a custom-made bag from Sulis. It’s purple velvet with silver silk lining and it’s gorgeous.
Apart from that, it’s all quiet on the tarot front. So please excuse me for my Hermititude. I’m going to try and do a bit more taroting over the coming months (hence the new look), but I’m not going to force anything.