Blank

August 13, 2008 § 3 Comments

The reason I have been quiet here recently is, simply, that I have had nothing to say. It’s a very strange sensation. In early April I found out I was pregnant with our first child and since then, my interest in tarot has flagged. For the first trimester I went off it completely – didn’t want to think about it, talk about it, or write about it. It was like tarot was a food that I just suddenly didn’t like the taste of anymore.

Fortunately, that feeling did pass. I’m convinced it was a pregnancy thing. As I entered the 13th and 14th weeks, I gradually felt my interest in tarot return. But it hasn’t been the same. Perhaps that’s to be expected. Having a baby is a major life change and there are lots of things to look forward to and also to be anxious about. Between hospital appointments, excited grandparents and panic attacks, there hasn’t been much room left for tarot.

I am absolutely thrilled to have a baby on the way, and to be honest, I haven’t really missed tarot that much. But when I do think about it, I can’t help feeling a little sad. I had a plan, a passion, a purpose. This blog, the book I’d started working on, and various other pies-in-the-sky, were my bread and butter. (Pies = bread and butter? But of course.) All those things have since faded into the very distant background.

I’m objective enough to recognize that this is probably all just a phase, and probably a necessary one at that. I can’t expect to have my head buried in tarot for nine months and then all of a sudden adjust to the arrival of a new baby. I need time to prepare myself – mentally, physically, and emotionally. So I guess tarot will return to me…or rather, I to it, when the time is right.

In the meantime, I haven’t completely lost touch. Last month I treated myself to another copy of the large German edition of the Haindl, which is now borderless and beautiful. And then I used that as an excuse to order a custom-made bag from Sulis. It’s purple velvet with silver silk lining and it’s gorgeous.

Apart from that, it’s all quiet on the tarot front. So please excuse me for my Hermititude. I’m going to try and do a bit more taroting over the coming months (hence the new look), but I’m not going to force anything.

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§ 3 Responses to Blank

  • katebedell says:

    Congratulations!!!

    The very same thing happened to me when I was pregnant with my first child. I not only went off Tarot and Astrology that I was studying at the time, but I actually found that I didn’t believe in them anymore..it was the weirdest feeling as I had grown up with all things supernatural and suddenly found myself cut off from everything. Until now I’d never heard of anyone having that same experience. I think that the baby becomes THE most important thing in the universe to us and we have no choice but to be cocooned in our own little world as the baby is cocooned within us. Interestingly it gives a whole new take on the Hermit card and I can see new images of embryonic forms in what could be a very female or mother earth oriented Tarot theme. (I will ponder that one some more). In the meantime, look after yourself and the baby and just go with the flow.
    Best wishes,
    Kate

  • Bea says:

    I came here because I missed you. I have been craving an Archer fix 😦

    Don’t beat yourself up about the tarot. It will come back (tarot urges) when you need it. Right now, your priority has shifted and that is exactly how it should be.

    Sending you, Mr Archer, and the baby bump lots of hugs and good wishes.

    Bea (who misses you dreadfully and is trying hard not to sound too desperate, and wants to suggest you pop by every now and then to just say g’day on the non-tarot areas of a certain favourite place of yours, but feels this might be a bit pushy – so she won’t. Suggest it, I mean…)

  • archertarot says:

    Bea, I did pop by and have continued popping. Thank you for the nudge 😉

    Kate, it’s very nice to hear of someone else going through the same thing (going off tarot while pregnant). And yes, like you, I lost that belief – suddenly I was wondering why I had spent so much of my time on tarot. But it seems to have returned to me with a vengeance this week. Maybe only temporarily but still, it’s nice. I feel connected again. 🙂

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